Ready for how to tick off your bartender?

Come in half lit and announce to the world that you can't taste the alcohol. Here you will get the most even shot ever poured, and chance getting shut off.

Whistle, snap your fingers or yell. You think I don't know you are there? Did you flunk taking turns in Kindergarten class, or do you not have manners at all?

Chaw. Man, don't spit in my bar glasses. I'll gladly give you a plastic cup with napkins.

Ask for a free drink, or ask me to tip the jigger more while pouring if you don't expect to pay for it. These are not my drinks to give away. I might buy you a drink, but believe me, I will pay for it.

Bring up unseemly topics. Politics, racism and religion are not the proper things to discuss at a bar.

Don't be gross. I don't want to see you picking your nose or adjusting those nads. Sure thing that you'll be put on the ignore list.

Mooch drinks. I have regulars and just because you think you are something, doesn't mean you can hit every one of my patrons up for a drink with small talk.

Tell me a story when I am busy. Rest assured I'll be nodding my head and walking away not hearing whatever wasn't really all that important that I hear.

Demand a fresh cold glass for each beer. Be prepared to come wash some glasses! (Not that anyone would ever let you behind the bar, but it isn't always physically possible to get a new, chilled glass with each beer if busy.)

Make me wait. I have other patrons most likely. If you are in a conversation and can't give me your order, I'll get back to you when I can.

So, now that you know what not to do, how about some positives?

Get the bartender's name & say thanks with a tip.

Have your order ready if the bartender doesn't know you.

Have some patience, especially if you order a complicated drink. There may also be orders to make ahead of yours.

Get to know your bartender on a slow night, so they will see you and know what you prefer to drink. If he or she remembers, remember that bartender!